i don’t care if a trans woman hasnt “done the work”. i dont care if she doesnt shave. i dont care if she has short hair. i dont care if she has broad shoulders. i dont care if she has a flat chest. i dont care if she has flat hips. i dont care if she has a deep voice. i dont care if she wears “mens” clothing. she’s a woman because she says she is. she doesn’t have to “do the work”. she doesnt have to do anything, actually. she’s a woman regardless of how she looks, acts or sounds. she’s a woman because she is one.
also im growing to hate the phrase “hold accountable” in discourse because its always so…. empty? like you see people saying “sure this person apologized, but we need to hold them accountable!” like cool. what does that mean. how can you get any more accountable than a public apology. do you want them to apologize… again? more? get a tattoo explaining their crimes so everyone they meet is informed? do you want accountability or are you repeating buzzwords because you cant find a nice way to say you just want them to disappear.
Things I have explained to my parents when they start getting mad over small things as customers.
- the cashier scanning your groceries is not being careless or bad at her job, this store times the cashiers so she is clearly trying to stay on time and not get in trouble. This blew their minds that someone would be timed at a "no skill" job (their words not mine)
- the drive thru employee is not trying to be rude or annoying by greeting you too soon: they are required to greet you within a few seconds of your car setting off the sensor.
- the employees at this retail store are not trying to be pushy: they are required to greet you within a few seconds of you entering the store
- the cashier is required to ask you every single question they ask. And they hate it more than you do.
- the cashier is not dumb or "doesn't know how to X" because they had to call a manager for it. Every place I've worked for the past 5 years has been rolling back what employees are authorized to do, and they HAVE to call a manager. They know exactly how to do the thing, they are not allowed to and the computer likely will require a managers code to unlock that function. This confused them.
- the cashier knows the line is long, you don't need to tell them that. If they could call up another cashier they would have already.
- and a more work/life balance related one: my dad scheduled a family thing and assumed i could get the time off. What shocked him was that 1. It wasn't paid time off, and 2. It was denied, so I couldn't come til after work and thus was late. He has worked a job with generous PTO and accrued vacation days that schedules 6 months ahead for the past nearly 30 years. He absolutely was horrified to find out that I have to ask permission for unpaid time off and still couldn't be approved.
- funny followup to my dad's shock: I had been at my most recent job nearly a year and he was asking why they haven't promoted me yet. I was thrown off because why would they. He apparently assumed that since i 1. Showed up on time/early to every shift. 2. Had received positive verbal feedback wrt my performance from managers. And 3. Hadn't quit. That they would automatically start to move me up the ladder. It hurt my heart to shatter his wholesome view of how workplaces work now.
I feel like much of this is common knowledge for all of us, and yet my parents and many customers who haven't worked in the service industry in the past 10-20 years have no idea how this stuff works now.
On the positive side, my parents have slowly been becoming more patient with service workers, and complain to managers or anecdotally much less often. Baby steps!
Like, he’s your main character’s lover and he’s named Sir Greatinbed? Sir Fucksalot?? Sir Sexhaver??? He’s the main gay love interest and his name’s Sir Longshlong??? 10/10 no notes oscar nomination in the mail
Here’s the Fecto Elfilis cosplay I wore in Nekocon in Kuopio last weekend! Got a lot of compliments, but also a lot of “how hot is that thing to wear?” questions, to which the answer is yes
